If you’re the parent of more than one kid, usually you’ll hear the pleated response of “wow, you must have your hands full.”
Yeah, with three boys now, this is how it feels.
However, I don’t really think that’s how we should be responding to new moms who just added a kid to the bunch. It’s quite disheartening when it gets pointed out that I’m busy in all the ways and in all the things. Duh.
I read somewhere on social media sometime ago that an elderly lady saw a mom handling her three kids in public and went up to engage in conversation. The post said that the mom expected that phrase to be said about those hands being full. Instead, the elderly woman replied, “you’ve look like you’ve got everything you need in your hands.”
I’m shaking in my soul about how seen that makes me feel just hearing it.
It’s still funny when I’m out at the park and that present moment playing with our 6 month old son and they ask if he’s my only kid (because obviously I’m short and my face genetics make me look like a high schooler). Then, I protrude mightily onto my soap box and say “oh, he’s got two big brothers ages 8 and 14). The judgmental looks continue because now let’s talk about why you had your kids so far apart (read about my postpartum depression with all 3 kids soon).
But they instead hold it in and usually give that pleated response of “wow, you have your hands full.”
My gentle reminder … be gentle with mamas and their families. Hands full of kids means hearts full of love.
Loved the last line.
Also, coincidentally we are 3 brothers, so it is enlightening to see the world from a mother's perspective, her challenges, her battle, her love, everything...
Never thought about this before. This is why I love reading on substack, to be introduced to other people's stories I otherwise would never have been able to read. Thank you for sharing your.